How Inclusive Leadership Transformed My Life
Inclusive leadership has helped me to live the legacy I want to leave behind—as a leader and as a human being.
For 20 years, I lived a legacy that caused harm. I ran two successful businesses where I hurt employees through my bias. I treated clients and customers badly, and when they took their stories to the public, I doubled down. I claimed that I knew the “right” way to live and that I was not going to change my behavior based on what I had deemed was a “trend” of political correctness.
During that time, I was a faithful member of a religious organization that promoted prejudiced beliefs. I was a leader—as much as a woman could be anyway—in this organization that had barred Black men from leadership roles until 1978. This same religious organization claims that homosexual behavior is a sin and the sinner needs to repent in the same way a murderer would need to repent. As a mom, these are the concepts that I taught to my four children for years.
Then in 2017, my world started to crumble. I realized that the “sin” my religion had taught me was wrong and I was fighting so hard against was actually inside of me all along. I was gay—and I had been living a lie.
Everything fell apart. My business. My marriage. My faith in my religion. My entire concept of self.
The author in 2012
What emerged when I began to put my life back together and rediscover who I actually was as a person—outside of the strict framework of good and evil to which I previously prescribed—was someone who was actively working to deconstruct their internalized racism, homophobia, and misogyny.
I started to realize how valuable it was to seek out and consider different perspectives. To be aware of my biases. To collaborate more effectively and create safe environments where everyone is accepted and valued for who they are.
In other words, I realized the value of inclusive leadership.
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Inclusive leadership has brought me life-giving personal gains. My children are happier. My relationships are deeper. My world is bigger.
My life has changed professionally, as well. As a Diversity, Equity and Inclusion (DEI) consultant and executive coach with a focus on the LGBTQ+ community, I work with companies around the world to help increase their inclusive leadership. Through our work together, many are then able to realize successes in their recruitment practices, employee retention rates, and professional development returns, as well as their overall strategic communication.
I’ve found that the “secret sauce” in changing unhealthy workplace dynamics and promoting inclusive leadership is to focus on team building—in particular, working to elevate the voices of marginalized employees and ensuring safety and belonging for all.
The trainings I have created are participant-centered, interactive team-building events that promote inclusive cultures where employees of all ranks know how to engage in allyship behaviors. I’ve seen firsthand the powerful transformations that occur when employees amplify their speaking presence and are able to speak up for themselves and others. By infusing team building with communication development, employees have fun growing their speaking confidence and skill, while also increasing their trust in one another. When employees possess the mindset, confidence, and communication skills to advocate for their own wellbeing, they not only feel better—statistically, they also perform better.
I also support my clients to explore individual and cultural barriers to employee wellness in the workplace. I teach leaders how to encourage their staff to create and articulate boundaries in order to get their needs met. I help them practice culturally-appropriate terms, and use prompts to teach more individually-inclusive language. Through the use of such prompts, we work to refine communication strategies that encourage teams to make a habit of creating safety and belonging in the workplace.
In my work with clients, I encourage the learning of inclusive leadership from a place of authenticity. Trainings are a judgement-free zone and I encourage all questions, no matter how awkward. I remind participants that I was once in their shoes and there is nothing they can or will say that I haven’t said myself. And just as I was able to alter my own personal legacy through the practice of inclusive leadership, my clients are able to change the trajectory of their organization’s legacy (and experience a profitable return on their investment) through the implementation of inclusive leadership.
In addition to my work as a DEI consultant, I am the Executive Director of the Pride and Joy Foundation. The mission of the non-profit is to prevent suicide and homelessness in the LGBTQ+ community. I love that my work with the organization involves something I am so passionate about. Both my work as a consultant and my leadership role in the Pride and Joy Foundation have been transformative experiences in which inclusive leadership has shaped my personal journey.
As I began to understand the legacy I wanted to leave, I realized that when I’m no longer on Earth, profits won't matter as much as the relationships that have been developed and the joy that was discovered. I didn’t just want to leave a legacy behind for my family and community—I wanted to become the personification of that legacy.
And that meant becoming an inclusive leader.
Elena Joy teaches Inclusive Leadership Skills through keynotes, trainings, and executive coaching. You can learn more about her work here.
